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Dancing In The Traffic Of Expectation

I’m a boring guy…but I like it that way.

I’d rather stay in and have a nice meal in front of the TV with my wife than go out partying and waking up with a hangover.

Been there…done that…’got the t-shirt’.

I learnt some time ago that the only way you can really be happy in your life is to try to do what YOU want to do.

So…if my brother phones me up and asks me to go out and I don’t really feel like it…I’ll tell him so.

In my attempts to please other people I used to find myself going to places and doing things that I didn’t really want to do…but felt that I SHOULD do.

Ever felt like that?

I’d find myself involved in some little project that I felt that I ought to have been doing…but I didn’t really want to.

I changed jobs to a role that moved me up a notch in ‘status’ as well as a notch in salary…yet I realized too late that it meant nothing if I was as miserable as hell.

Isn’t it worse seeing the car that’s about to run you over coming towards you…rather than being oblivious to what is about to happen?

My life was like that…every day I knew I was taking a step further out into the middle of the road…waiting for the impact on my health and happiness.

Are you dancing with the traffic in your life at the moment?

So…what could I do?

I had debts to pay…a responsibility to provide for my family.

But…I knew that unless I did something, my marriage would start to suffer and my health would deteriorate. What’s the point of status if all it does is ruin your life?

So…I did what anyone else would do…I carried on…knowing that there was no way out.

One day…as I was yet again sitting in an airport departure lounge I thought – “I don’t want to do this…what’s the point in spending most of your life regretting where you are and who you are becoming?”

Bet you’ve felt the same way.

I knew that there was no easy way out. But sometimes the harder the decision…the better the result.

I sat down with my head in my hands and told myself  “No more!”

From that moment…I vowed to turn my life towards the safety of the side of the road where I felt comfortable.

No more dancing in the traffic of other people’s expectation for me.

So…what changed?

I know…but do you?

Quitting my job was not an option – so what would you have done in my situation?

I knew that the world wasn’t going to change for me…so I had to learn how to make myself change.

I got a pen and paper and wrote furiously for an hour without stopping as I waited for my flight.

By the time I finished I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. How had my situation changed in that hour? – It hadn’t.

I had changed.

From that moment until the minute I am writing this something is different about me. Every part of me is more focused, more creative, more happy…and more successful.

How can just an hour change your life?

Well…

I found out that I didn’t know as much about myself as I thought I did. Firstly, I surprised myself by actually being able to sit still long enough to focus on the task I had set myself!

Secondly, I realized that perhaps I had everything that I really needed already…and that it was just a case of working out what else in my life I wanted to make it ‘complete’.

  • I had my family
  • I had my health
  • I had a well-paying (although not entirely satisfying) job
  • I had my debts under control

What else could I possibly want? Well…

  • I wanted to write a book
  • I wanted to see some more of the world
  • I wanted to own my own business
  • I wanted to DO something for ME

You know what? I’ve achieved them all since that hour in the airport lounge. I have achieved more in the last year or two than I had managed in the fifteen years before.

I even got on better with my mother-in-law!

Most of you who wrote to me last week know…you understand that the world won’t change for you – so YOU are the one that’s going to have to change.

The reason why success eludes so many people is because it is so personal. The ‘key’ to your success may be totally different to mine. That’s why you can spend years searching until you’ve had enough and think that it will never happen to you.

You CAN be a success. You just have to fight your instincts to just let yourself drift – and force yourself to find out what makes you ‘tick’.

Ignore those ‘gurus’ who say that you should do this, or start doing that. You need to know how you can work with, and improve on, what you have already got first.

It’s pointless trying to ‘run before you can walk’.

To Our Success!

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