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 May 17th, 2010 |  Welcome back to Jobs, Skills & Advice. Have you claimed your FREE eBooks by subscribing to the newsletter yet? If not, then claim your FREE eBooks now. Thanks for visiting! So you want to be successful in life? Is that what you want? Then you better stop failing and become aware of these 10 ways to fail in life.
You see, I’ve been asked many times how to achieve success and weird enough, it seems like nobody takes the advice seriously. Then I realized one thing – most people are ALREADY failing before they even got started!
The article I wrote below is slightly controversy compare to the normal goodie-type personal development advice because this is the TRUTH. If I want to keep everyone happy and write about the colorful rainbow, birds chirping, flowers blooming, etc., then I should just open up a nursery home and take care of children. I want to tell you the truth straight to your face because I’ve been there and heard the garbage lies thrown everywhere.
Avoid these and you’ll automatically be on the right track (provided you want to be successful):
1. Mixing With Losers
It’s a guaranteed way to fail in life with this. Whatever you like to do, losers will just tell you it won’t work and after some time, you will also become a loser. High five, welcome to the losers’ club. Something about losers you should know: they like to “recruit” new people and are very comfortable in their shoes. They don’t welcome changes. So when you see someone with any of these two characteristics, you know what you should do.
2. Don’t Know What You Want
The most common goal I hear all of the time is, “I want to be rich”. I mean it’s fine with that generic goal but the problem is, how rich do you want to be? Or how rich is rich? Put it this way – the methods used to make a million and $3,000 are different. No wonder some people couldn’t experience breakthroughs in life because they are playing small for big goals. If you want to make a million, you better put in that level of commitment, bucko.
3. You Want Everything
It’s nice to have a lot of things but if you go chasing everything, you get nothing. Let me tell you why – you only have 24 hours a day and you’ve got to focus on your priorities. I know, I know, you can hire others and so on but the fact is, you’ve got to want “something” first to lead to another “something”, then to everything. Make sense?
4. Watching the “Secrets” Way Too Much
I’m not here to criticize Law Of Attractions (LOA) and don’t want to receive hate emails. As a matter of fact, I do believe in it and have friends who appeared in the Secrets. But it’s a surefire way to fail if you keep on watching the “Secrets” and doing attraction work by sitting down on your floor manifesting 3 hours a day. In my point of view, scientifically, the Law of Attraction runs on the concept of believing. When you believe your goal is achievable, you will take action to achieve it. If you don’t understand this basic element and think LOA is some sort of miracle remedy, oh boy, you’re in for a big surprise of failure.
5. You Don’t Truly Know Why You Want Success
Wanting everything is bad enough – but it gets worse if you don’t even know the reason why you’re trying to achieve your goal. What’s the deal? Without a solid reason, a compelling reason, where are you going to find the motivation and encouragement for you to overcome obstacles? You think it’s going to be fun ride to success? Then you haven’t been traveling – it’s a rocky road, my friend. Most people fail to achieve their goals because they never complete the journey – they give up halfway (or at the beginning) because they cannot see the worth of accomplishments.
6. You Don’t Remember Your Roots
“…if you go chasing everything, you get nothing.”
The thing I get most irritated about is people who achieved success and never felt gratitude towards those who helped them. Is it very hard to say, “Thank you”? The law of reciprocity is simple – you return favors to those who helped you in the past. And maybe, they’ll help you again in the future. Remember this: it takes more than just you to achieve success. Don’t be a jerk.
7. You Think You’re Smart
The day you stop learning is the day you stop improving yourself. If you don’t want to fail in life, make sure you stop acting as though you already know everything. The fact is, all successful people are people who continuously learn to be even more successful. They don’t stop. Let me put it in this perspective: you don’t know what you don’t know, you know?
8. You Listen To The Wrong People
I watched this funny movie called, “He Is Just Not That Into You” and it reaffirmed what I’m about to tell you. At the beginning of the movie, it shows a clip of a boy pushing a girl in the playground because he somehow doesn’t like her. He thinks she smells like dog poo. She cried and asked her mum why did the boy do that to her. And her mum replied, “It’s because boys do that to girls when they like you.” Do yourself a favor, don’t get wrong advice. It’ll stick in your brain and lead you to make stupid interpretations in life.
9. You Think Short Term
You’ll often hear this happening in many “successful” people’s stories: they make a lot of money to lose it all. This is probably because they became too comfortable and the other thing is, once you achieve success, you should ride on the wave when the momentum is there. When you think short term, you’re only going after the instant pleasure. You must learn to delay gratification to enjoy today’s labor.
10. You’re Blinded With What Is Important In Life
I believe there are only two things that are important in your life – control of time and experiencing happiness. Money, love, big cars, diamonds, etc., are the things that contribute to these two benchmarks of success. For instance, if you have money, you don’t need to work so you can have more time to do the things you like. It’s not the money that you’re trying to get, but what the money CAN DO FOR YOU. I know this topic is bigger than one sentence explanation, but I guess you get the point. You’re a smart fella.
So now you know the 10 ways to fail in life. Question is, are you doing any of these? I’ll be BS’ng you if I said I don’t. I’m human dude, flesh and blood – I do mistakes too.
But I was fortunate to experience my fair share of success today because I learn powerful lessons from other successful people…
It’s okay to fail and you should fail as many times as you can. That is how you learn but more importantly, you should never give up – each time you get dirt kicked in your face, wash your face and ‘fight’ back. Don’t go crying like a sissy because Mum’s not going to come cleaning your face.
Are you ready? Go get your goals.
About the Author
Patric Chan, founder of Success Trace, is a world-class speaker on success in 11 countries. He lives on a small island in Malaysia, has never been to a University, started from zero money, and now lives his dream teaching people the secrets of success. You can discover the success secrets of the past, present, and future from Patric by clicking here.
March 12th, 2010 | Subliminal persuasion? It is simply influencing people at a level below their conscious recognition. Many people don’t even realize they are being influenced by a smile, making even that a subliminal technique. Here are two more subtle methods.
Subliminal Persuasion Using Inflection
It is easy to assume that a sentence like “I can’t promise you that price.” has only one meaning. In reality, though, inflection provides much of the actual meaning. Look at the each of the sentences below, each with a different word emphasized, and followed by the implied meaning.
I can’t promise you that price. (But maybe someone can.)
I CAN’T promise you that price. (There’s no way.)
I can’t PROMISE you that price. (But maybe you’ll get it.)
I can’t promise YOU that price. (But I can promise someone else.)
I can’t promise you THAT price. (But maybe a good price.)
I can’t promise you that PRICE. (But I can promise something.)
The meaning of our statements is determined by which words we emphasize, and it is a subtle process. If you can’t promise him that price, you can tell him “I can’t promise you that PRICE,” and he may still feel good about the situation, especially if you immediately follow with what you can promise him. You probably know what you want to say. Understanding the subtle and often subliminal power of inflection will mean you actually say it.
Subliminal Persuasion Using Their Own Words
Restate what a person has said they want, and then show them how you can give them that. We all need to have some internal consistency, so we don’t like to act against what we say. This is why, as long as you have what they need, this technique works well. For an example, we’ll suppose you are selling a prospect a vacation.
After listening to what they want, you find something that fits their needs, and then say, “If I remember right, you said you wanted a warm beach, under $2,000 for the week, and with nearby nightlife. I think we’re in luck. Both of the packages we just looked at fit your criteria, so do you like Cancun or the Bahamas better?”
It is tough for someone to say they are not interested when you just found exactly what they said they wanted, and reminded them of their words. They probably won’t even notice that you are using their exact words. They’ll just feel uncomfortable contradicting what they said, and find it easier to agree. That’s subliminal persuasion.
March 11th, 2010 | The best way to learn successful achievement techniques and philosophies is to study those who have consistently made great achievements. It would be hard to find anyone that would match the incredible accomplishments of Coach John Wooden. Wooden spent 41 years of his life coaching basketball teams and in all of those years he only had 1 losing season. While coaching the UCLA Bruins NCAA team he was able to amass some of the most incredible achievements in all of sporting history including: 10 NCAA National Championships (a record) ; 88 consecutive game wins (a record); 38 straight tournament wins (a record); and four perfect seasons with no losses (a record). He won 7 National Championships in a row and retired from UCLA after winning the Championship in his last season. To hold any one of these records would be significant, to own them all would seem impossible. Many believe that some of the records Coach Wooden set will stand forever and cannot be broken.
While Wooden quite possibly had more wins than anyone in the history, oddly enough, in all his years of coaching he rarely, if ever, uttered the word “win”, talked about “beating” an opponent, or exhorted a team to be number one. Before the start of every game, whether he was coaching the first game of a High School Season or an NCAA Championship game, his final words were always the same. “When its over I want your heads up. And there is only one way your heads can be up and that is to give it your best out there, everything you have”. That is all he ever asked of a team because it was something they had control over and it was all they could ever give. He says when you give your total effort, everything you have, the score can never make you a loser and when you do less you cant somehow be magically turned into a winner. Just accepting this philosophy dramatically improves your probability of success or winning the race.
Defining Success
Wooden defined success as:
Peace of mind which is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.
Wooden says that personal greatness is not determined by the size of the job, but by the size of the effort one puts into the job. Self-satisfaction will come from the knowledge that you left no stone unturned in an effort to accomplish everything possible under the circumstances. You and only you will know when you have achieved this success. You can fool others but you can never fool yourself. Others will attempt to force their definition of success upon you but you must never let them because success is different for Everyone.
Wooden taught that there will always be others who are bigger, stronger, quicker but there are other qualities in which you can be second to none. Among these are your dedication to the development of your own potential, your industriousness, your integrity, and self-control. Wooden said he disciplined himself and the teams he led to focus on and worry about only those things over which they had control, namely, getting as good as they could get and striving to reach their own capabilities.
Happiness is found in the Journey
Wooden says that he has always believed that success and happiness are found in the running of the race. How you run the race your: planning, preparation, practice, and performance counts for everything. The joy is in the journey of pushing yourself to the outward limits of your ability. Wooden strove to reach what he called Competitive Greatness (being at your best when your best is required) in himself and his teams. He said Competitive Greatness was “A real love for the hard battle, knowing that it offers the opportunity to be at your best when your best is required.” The struggle itself, the test, is what gives value to the prize.
Coach Wooden saw his job of Coaching to be about much more than just teaching Basketball. He often spoke of creating balance everywhere. He said balance is one of the most important things in life and its important everywhere in everything we do.
Importance of Planning
Planning was critical to Coach Wooden. He believed that all activity must be organized with a Goal in mind. He had every team practice planned out ahead of time, in great detail, to the minute. He used 3X5 cards and was always looking at the clock to stay on time. There was complete organization and he was a master at using time efficiently. He believed that winning was the result of process and he was a master of the process. Before the first whistle blew for practice He had meticulously detailed with his assistant coaches what they would accomplish and how they would accomplish it. He would save his notes and would come back to them many years later for analysis.
Wooden said “Activity, to produce real results, must be organized and executed meticulously. Otherwise, it’s no different from children running around the playground at recess”. Lots of movement but little achievement. There is a tautness in how things are run when time is being used efficiently. He described this “tautness” as being like sailing a ship whose sails are tight in the wind rather than fluttering in the breeze.
Wooden says that he learned to “make everyday your masterpiece” from his father. He believes that perfection is not possible by mortal man but he tried to make every minute of his teaching as good as it could be and make each meeting a masterpiece, each practice a pursuit of perfection. Each minute of time offers the opportunity to get better and better, closer and closer to our goals.
Wooden stresses the importance of recording the tasks, initiatives, and actions that you need to do to perform at your peak level. Focus on those actions that you need to be most effective. Wooden said he derived great satisfaction from identifying and perfecting those “trivial” but relevant details, because he knew, without a doubt, that each one brought them a bit closer to the goal.
Adversity if Your Asset
Wooden often said that “Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out”. He believes that adversity is our asset and it can make us stronger, smarter, better, and tougher. Most worthwhile things in the competitive world come wrapped in adversity. Don’t worry about those things over which you have no control. We cant control fate, only our response to it. Don’t let the things you cant control effect the things that you can control. Adversity presents the opportunity, namely, that your response can separate you from the competition who is stunned and disheartened when fate frowns. Expect the rough patches and allow them to make you stronger. You must truly welcome and embrace the trials and tribulations of competition. Regarding the competition he taught his teams to respect all, but fear none.
Setting Proper Goals
Wooden’s personal goal at the beginning of each season was always to win their conference title. This was the practical way to approach things for him. At that time only conference champions were eligible for the National NCAA tournament. The goal of winning the conference title presented a good deal of information in advance, specifically, he knew about the schedule, who they would play, coaches, venues, and even referees. He knew when they would be playing and where the game would be. This situation was very different from the NCAA tournament. He knew nothing about who the opponents would be until season concluded so instead of thinking about it and worrying about it he dismissed it from his mind. He worked backward from his long term goal (the conference championship) to the very short term steps of taking full advantage of each practice.
Wooden believes that little things make big things happen. There are no big things only a logical accumulation of little things done at a very high standard of performance. Great things can only be accomplished by doing little things right. Long Term Success Requires Short Term Focus.
You must set realistic goals but once they are achieved you must not become satisfied. Work constantly to improve. Perfection is a goal that can never be reached, but it must be the objective.
This article is reprinted from My Goal Manager which is an interactive service that follows the strategies and philosophies of some of the most respected resources throughout history to help you: identify and utilize natural talents, create a personal success roadmap, fuel the fires of motivation, keep Your finger on the pulse of progress, confidently make complex decisions, maintain complete organization over your schedule, and much more. Check out My Goal Manager and begin an exciting journey today!
March 10th, 2010 | Some of the best persuasion techniques have been developed from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) methods. For example, if you hear a person saying, “I see,” a few times, they are probably processing information visually, according to NLP. To influence them then, you would use phrases like, “You can see how…” or you would actually show them things. A more auditory person would be influenced by, “I hear what you’re saying,” and “Listen.”
Notice if they use visual, aural, or kinesthetic words. If you want to convince your spouse to go to the Bahamas, it makes a difference which words you use. “We’ll be feeling that sun on our backs,” is not the same as “We’ll see sunny beaches,” or We’ll listen to the waves at night.” You may use all of these, but one of the three types of words will be more influential for most people.
More Persuasion Techniques
1. Use a person’s name.
You have undoubtedly heard salesmen use and abuse this technique. Maybe a statement like “Look Mr. Bhargava, you can see the benefits of this…” just turns you off. Using a person’s name IS a powerful persuasion technique, but there is more subtlety and art to persuasion than just following simple rules.
People do love to hear their own name, but you have to be careful how you use it. First of all, use it how they want to hear it. Ask how they prefer to be addressed. A Sandy may not like “Sandeep,” and a Vikram may be irritated by you calling him “Vikky.”
Second, use it at the right time. Unless you are great at reading people and know it is okay, don’t say “Hi Rekha!” the moment she walks into your office. Wait until there is a bit of rapport, and sometimes even ask permission (“Is it okay if I call you Rekha?”).
2. Use motivating words.
Say “think about,” they’ll do that. It is not a call to action. Use words like “today,” and “now,” and “do this.” Many subliminal experts will tell you that even using “by now,” repetitively, as in “By now you can see that this car is luxurious,” is subconsciously taken as “buy now.”
Remember to use THEIR words. If they use the word “efficient” often, then it’s an important word to them. Start using it: “You can see how efficient this RV is in it’s use of space.” Pay attention and pick out any words they use often. Persuasion is easier when you speak the same “language.”
3. Be a chameleon.
Change your language to more closely match theirs. Slow or accelerate your speech to match theirs. Sit in the same position that they sit in. Use the same facial expressions. Laugh when they laugh.
This technique is called “mirroring and matching,” and, when done well, you can establish rapport quickly and easily with most people. Most people will never notice you’re doing this, but don’t be too obvious. The person will just feel like you’re like they are, that you can “relate” to them. A bond will begin to develop between you, and you can test this bond by “leading.”
This means that once you have established the bond, you can change your body posture, to see if they unconsciously do the same. If so, they are ready to follow. You continue to mirror and match, but you also start to lead them right to the bottom line on the contract, or to whatever action you want them to take. This is one of the more powerful persuasion techniques.
March 9th, 2010 | In 500 B.C. a man named Sun Tzu wrote 13 manuscripts on military strategy that became known as The Art of War. Sun Tzu served as a General in the Chinese Kingdom of Wu during a time of unprecedented war and political turmoil and through his successful conquests the kingdom went on to become the most powerful state of the period. While Sun Tzu’s writings on The Art of War were originally founded in military strategy, it has since been applied to achieve objectives in many different fields of competitive endeavors. It has found application as a training guide in sports, games, business, finance, and in just about any activity that requires planning and implementation. In addition to being a primary source for strategy in today’s military academies (a paradox indeed given the incredible advances in the technology of warfare), some companies make the book required reading for their key executives who look to it for inspiration and advice on how to succeed in competitive business situations. The underlying science of strategy remains constant throughout time and locked within The Art of War are 2,500 year old time tested secrets that will help you achieve your Goals in the office, at home, and in everyday life.
Much of The Art of War is about how to fight wars without actually having to do battle: it gives tips on how to outsmart one’s opponent so that physical battle is not necessary. Sun Tzu’s approaches are all about achieving goals with minimal effort, minimal conflict and maximum operational efficiency. The strategies are based upon the laws of nature, both human nature and nature at large. Since all of life are subject to these laws the book is a universal template to triumph over life’s conflicts that stand in the way of reaching your Goals. The book follows a direct path that escalates until victory is assured from analysis and projection, through planning and positioning, and on to confrontation.
The following are some of Sun Tzu’s thoughts in some key areas that can help you achieve your goals:
Planning
Planning is the foundation of Goal Setting and the core part of My Goal Manager’s Goal Achievement system. Sun Tzu believed that good planning was crucial and his very first chapter is titled “Laying Plans”. The Art of War refers to planning in one way or another more than 1,100 times. Tzu believed that before undertaking the achievement of any goal it is essential to calculate a complete analysis of the situation.
Motivation
No Goal can be achieved without strong Motivation. Motivation comes from the “spirit of the mission” and the strength of your belief that your purpose is morally sound. This rallies a fighting spirit and generates a firestorm of positive energy. The worthiness and integrity of ones objective is critical. During planning when evaluating which army will win a battle the first of the five elements Sun Tzu considers is what he calls “Moral Law”. He says that “The Moral Law causes the people to be in complete accord with their ruler, so that they will follow him regardless of their lives, undismayed by any danger.”
Realistic Goals
He believed that to undertake any challenge without complete certainty of emerging victorious was the mark of an inferior strategist. He also believed that no action should be taken unless there was a true advantage to be gained.
Overcoming Obstacles
The Art of War includes a chapter titled “Weak Points and Strong”. It is fundamental strategy that when facing any obstacle the best approach is a concentrated attack to the weakest point. The path of least resistance through an obstacle should always be taken. Sun Tzu said:
Military tactics are like unto water; for water in its natural course runs away from high places and hastens downwards. So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak. Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing.
Information
Good information about yourself and the obstacles you will in face in striving for your Goal are essential. Doing research and obtaining useful information can speed the achievement of your Goal and reduce conflict.
Allocate the resources necessary to gain the information you will need to ensure victory.
Effective Confrontations
The Art of War teaches that confrontation is always a last resort and should never be entered unless victory is assured and there is a true advantage to be gained. When conflict is required always use the most decisive weapons available to end the conflict quickly.
My Goal Manager is currently offering Sun Tzu’s The Art of War in printable eBook form as a free bonus gift with an annual account. My Goal Manager’s online Goal Achievement system will help you set your Goals and keep you on track to achievement. Get started on your Goal Plan and download The Art of War eBook right now.
This article is reprinted from My Goal Manager which is an interactive service that follows the strategies and philosophies of some of the most respected resources throughout history to help you: identify and utilize natural talents, create a personal success roadmap, fuel the fires of motivation, keep Your finger on the pulse of progress, confidently make complex decisions, maintain complete organization over your schedule, and much more. Check out My Goal Manager and begin an exciting journey today!
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