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 March 8th, 2010 |  Welcome back to Jobs, Skills & Advice. Have you claimed your FREE eBooks by subscribing to the newsletter yet? If not, then claim your FREE eBooks now. Thanks for visiting! How do you tell if someone is lying? Carefully. All methods of lie-detecting, including polygraph machines, are regularly fooled or used improperly, resulting in mistakes. So use the methods described here, but try to confirm the truth by other means as well, such as confession or investigation of the facts.
You should compare behavior in the person under suspicion to their “base” behavior, if possible. In other words, if they always have shifty eyes, then this trait can’t be considered as an indication of lying. On the other hand, if they are normally very calm under pressure, but start shifting in their chair after certain questions, that may indicate lying. Because all techniques fail at times, you should use several indications before assuming the person has lied.
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying By Testing Responses
One way to test for lying, is to measure a persons desire to avoid a subject, which will sometimes indicate dishonesty or guilt. If you think the person is lying, change the subject quickly. A lying person will often go along easily, and may even visibly relax. An innocent person is more likely to be slightly confused by the change and want to finish their thoughts.
Another lie detecting technique is to suggest something that would make a guilty person feel uncomfortable and watch for a response. Suppose your wife Jane says she was at her mother’s house, and you think she is lying. Rather than saying, “I’m calling your mother to verify this,” you could use a subtle approach. You might say, “That reminds me, I’m going to stop by your mother’s house today to fix that door for her.”
If your wife was lying, the idea of you seeing her mother should make her nervous. She may give you reasons why you shouldn’t go there. Of course, if your relationship has reached the point where you feel the necessity to resort to these techniques, a simple lie may not be the worst of your problems. Still, sometimes you need to know, so here are a few more ways to tell if someone is lying.
They are using your words. Using your exact words to respond can be an indication of lying. You say, for example, “Did you leave this here?” and they respond, “No, I did not leave this here.”
They use un-contracted words. A lack of contractions is more common when lying. For example, instead of saying “I didn’t sleep with her,” a man might say,” I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Again, compare to base behavior, though, as some people may not use contractions often anyhow.
Over-compensation. Often when people lie, they try too hard to be natural, and they give more detail than is necessary.
Forced smiles. A real smile involves more muscles, while a forced smile will use just the muscles around the mouth. The lie here may only be about their feelings, of course.
Let them talk. The more a person talks, the more likely you are to catch them in a lie (if they are being dishonest), especially when you learn the indications to watch for. These are just a few of the ways how to tell if someone is lying.
March 5th, 2010 | Few truly worthwhile things are attained without adversity, obstacles and conflict all of which can make us stronger, smarter, better, and tougher. In Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill writes:
More than 500 of the most successful men this country has ever known told the author their greatest success came just one step beyond the point at which defeat had overtaken them…Opportunity ‘often comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat…Thomas A. Edison “failed” ten thousand times before he perfected the incandescent electric light bulb. That is— he met with temporary defeat ten thousand times, before his efforts were crowned with success…Sometimes it appears that there is a hidden Guide whose duty is to test men through all sorts of discouraging experiences. Those who pick themselves up after defeat and keep on trying, arrive; and the world cries, “Bravo! I knew you could do it!” The hidden Guide lets no one enjoy great achievement without passing the PERSISTENCE TEST. Those who can’t take it, simply do not make the grade.”
Napoleon Hill lists a Lack of Persistence as one of the major reasons for failure and he says “The majority of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes overboard, and give up at the first sign of opposition or misfortune. A few carry on DESPITE all opposition, until they attain their goal.” The following Excerpt from Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill tells how to develop persistence:
HOW TO DEVELOP PERSISTENCE
There are four simple steps which lead to the habit of PERSISTENCE. They call for no great amount of intelligence, no particular amount of education, and but little time or effort. The necessary steps are:
1. A DEFINITE PURPOSE BACKED BY BURNING DESIRE FOR ITS FULFILLMENT.
2. A DEFINITE PLAN, EXPRESSED IN CONTINUOUS ACTION.
3. A MIND CLOSED TIGHTLY AGAINST ALL NEGATIVE AND DISCOURAGING INFLUENCES, including negative suggestions of relatives, friends and acquaintances.
4. A FRIENDLY ALLIANCE WITH ONE OR MORE PERSONS WHO WILL ENCOURAGE ONE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH BOTH PLAN AND PURPOSE.
These four steps are essential for success in all walks of life.
The ease with which lack of persistence may be conquered will depend entirely upon the INTENSITY OF ONE’S DESIRE. The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind.
The Art of War by Sun Tzu is a valuable guide of strategy for winning while facing competition, conflict, or obstacles. It says that the first factor in determining which side will win a conflict is who has the “Moral Law” on their side. The central theme of The Art of War is to overcome conflict without direct confrontation.
Much of The Art of War is about how to fight wars without actually having to do battle: it gives tips on how to outsmart one’s opponent so that physical battle is not necessary. Sun Tzu’s approaches are all about achieving goals with minimal effort, minimal conflict and maximum operational efficiency. The strategies are based upon the laws of nature, both human nature and nature at large. Since all of life are subject to these laws the book is a universal template to triumph over life’s conflicts that stand in the way of reaching your Goals. The book follows a direct path that escalates until victory is assured from analysis and projection, through planning and positioning, and on to confrontation.
No Goal can be achieved without strong motivation. Motivation comes from the “spirit of the mission” and the strength of your belief that your purpose is morally sound. This rallies a fighting spirit and generates a firestorm of positive energy. The worthiness and integrity of ones objective is critical. During planning when evaluating which army will win a battle the first of the five elements Sun Tzu considers is what he calls “Moral Law”. He says that “The Moral Law causes the people to be in complete accord with their ruler, so that they will follow him regardless of their lives, undismayed by any danger.”
This article is reprinted from My Goal Manager which is an interactive service that follows the strategies and philosophies of some of the most respected resources throughout history to help you: identify and utilize natural talents, create a personal success roadmap, fuel the fires of motivation, keep Your finger on the pulse of progress, confidently make complex decisions, maintain complete organization over your schedule, and much more. Check out My Goal Manager and begin an exciting journey today!
March 4th, 2010 | Secret information? Maybe not much remains truly hidden or forbidden anymore, but there are always important little secrets about how things work. Salesmen, politicians, and others learn and use subtle techniques to influence you. “Lucky people” use little-known tricks to get that way. Here are some examples.
Controlling Through Words
There is a classic joke, “Have you stopped beating your wife?” It is difficult to answer without incriminating yourself. This technique of the implicit premise is used by politicians for more than jokes. Get everyone to argue about how to do something, for example, like win the the “war” on drugs, and nobody questions if it should even be done. Implicit premises are a powerful method of control. Get in the habit of recognizing the premises hidden in political debate.
Another way to influence people is to control language. Since social security payments don’t come from actual investments, unless you call the government lending itself money “investing”, social security isn’t a “retirement fund.” Calling it that, however, makes it seem safer and more acceptable than what it is: welfare. You can see how the words used control the debate.
Our words matter greatly. Could it be difficult politically to spend millions on “human shredder” bombs? Maybe that’s why they are called “daisy cutters.” Start paying attention, and you’ll see how words are being used to influence you.
Hypnotic Sales Techniques
Read the following sales pitch:
“Does speaking before a crowd make you nervous? What if it was easy? Imagine standing there in front of a crowd, knowing exactly what to say to make them love you. Wouldn’t that feel wonderful? Just apply our simple methods, and you will have that power. Use the form below to ORDER RIGHT NOW.”
It starts by getting you to say yes, which is habit forming. It hints at the possibility of a solution. The word “Imagine,” in line three, gets you doing just that. Line four suggests positive emotion and gets another yes. “And” in line five infers cause and effect, that you’ll have the power BECAUSE you used their product. The last line directs you with “Use the form below.” The “order right now” is called an “embedded command,” because putting it in capitals influences you without you noticing consciously.
When I learned dozens of these techniques, I used them to rewrite the sign-up page for one of my newsletters, and I started to get four times as many subscribers from the same traffic. Secret information or not, it is powerful stuff.
More Secret Information
“Lucky people” create the right conditions for “luck,” by being in the right place, and around people who can help. Good salesmen use techniques like “mirroring,” and “leading,” to persuade you. Research from the new science of behavioral economics is applied by smart marketers to create methods of getting you to buy.
Secret information isn’t all about influencing others. Most industries and human activities have little-known “tricks of the trade.” Wise real estate agents sell expensive homes, for example, because they know it takes the same work as selling a mobile home, but the commission can be five times as much. Those who don’t use this “secret” struggle to make a living.
Certainly, subliminal techniques and other “forbidden knowledge” can be used for good or bad, so are they dangerous? Yes, especially if you’re not in on the secret. Why not start to gather some of your own secret information?
March 3rd, 2010 | There’s an old joke about two men hunting in the jungle. Suddenly, they come upon a man-eating tiger that hasn’t eaten for days. The hunters both start running with the tiger in hot pursuit. As they are running, one hunter says to the other. “You know, we’ll never be ble to outrun this tiger.” To which the other hunter replies, “I don’t have to outrun the tiger; I only have to outrun you.”
The point of the story is that, yes, there will be many other candidates in the stack of 500 cover letters and resumes that the hiring manager will receive for just one ad and many will have more experience and better qualifications than you.
You just need to be sure that your cover letter and resume shows off your strengths and experience better than the other guy. And if you follow the ideas in this section, they will!
Job-hunting is like the sales profession. It always comes down to – he who has the best “story” wins. Unless your boss was either friends with the hiring manager, or the nephew of the owner, or had compromising photos of the President, he/she probably got into the position because they had a great “story” to tell.
Here’ a question I hear all the time – I have better credentials yet they got the job. How did they do it? The answer is simple: They did their “homework” ahead of time. They put the time required into the job-hunting process.
In addition all the pieces of their job-hunting process had the same CONSISTENT look, feel and style. Not only did their cover letter, resume, interview, thank you letters, and negotiating have the same style, it was the style the company was looking for. As a matter of fact, the hiring company felt damn lucky to land such a find!
What does it mean to have the “best story”? Let me define “story”. A great story essentially means that to the employer, you have “The Right Stuff”.
A great story evolves from a well thought out job-hunting system where all pieces of the “campaign” are closely aligned. It requires thought, logic, study and of course practice. It’s a theme that continually shows up in anything and everything you write or say.
Developing a great story takes time and it takes thought. As agonizing as it can sometimes be, the process of gathering information for your cover letter and resume will prove to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the job-changing process. It forces you to compile and summarize the most important facts and significant achievements of your career. It also helps you narrow down the focus of your current job search objective and develop your story.
In the StreetSmart Job Changing System, there is a self-analysis section designed to help you answer some important questions that will be the basis for developing your story.
Some of these questions include:
- What am I good at?
- What do I like to do?
- Where do I want to be in 5 years and what would I like to be doing?
- What do I want to get out of my next job?
- Where do I want to end up?
- What do I really want to do?
As you go through your self-analysis, remember, there are no “right or wrong” answers to these questions. The answers to these questions however will help you create the entire make up of your resume.
The purpose of exposing your strengths and weaknesses at this stage is so that you can accentuate the strengths and either not expose or work on/explain your weaknesses.
Remember, during the all-important screening process you have less than 30 seconds to convince the hiring manager that you have a great story. You do that by clearly showing the hiring manager:
- What you are looking for,
- Your major skills,
- Whether or not you can you help solve their problems and
- Your greatest accomplishments
Jason Adams is President of Street Smart Sales and Marketing and author of the highly acclaimed book The StreetSmart Job-Changing System.
March 2nd, 2010 | Are you ready to change your career? If so you’re not alone because as many as 7 in 10 people would change if it was possible.
Perhaps you are more determined or you feel forced into a change; either way I am certain you will have thought about ways to change your career that involve working from home or working online, perhaps even internet marketing.
Internet marketing is the most commonly proposed idea to start over with your career, promising as it does the opportunity to work when and how you wish and make lots of money very easily.
However my advice is DON’T DO IT! without the right information. Click here for details
It’s very understandable why many people want to go down that route, but the fact of the matter is that less than half of one percent are able to replace their full time income in under two years. Living without an income for that period of time is well beyond most people’s means regardless of the expected eventual payoff!
Instead let me show you the surest and easiest ways to change your career, get it back on top form and enhance your income through changes to your existing job. Build that up first THEN you can start to move into the online world from a stronger foundation.
When you approach it this way, you’re going to feel good again about your job and career; you’ll get a renewed sense of career satisfaction from it and I promise you that you can do it if you believe in yourself.
To change your career, work on the job you have (unless you don’t have one) and start by changing small aspects of it.
To do this you need to think about how to:
* work out your goals and targets
* build up your self confidence
* enhance your Resume or CV
* create a self-marketing strategy that works;
* find out how to get from where you are to where you want to be;
* learn how to answer tough interview questions;
* polish your interview presentation skills;
* produce exemplary covering letters and job applications;
* access hidden or unadvertised jobs easily
* stay motivated throughout your career change;
* finally win the job you want.
When you change your career is your decision, but throwing away what you already have may not be the wisest decision, so follow this advice and change the easier parts first, then you can decide what follows.
This way you stay in control of both your own future and your finances.
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